A man I work with is on a happiness mission. He has started a blog dedicated to happiness. He started a happiness circle on google and all staff members were invited to join. Everyone in the happiness circle gives their various opinions on the subject and we all try to figure out if we’re happy or not. Like the night I came home and yelled at my kids instead of breathing and talking to them in a more appropriate tone, did I yell because I’m not happy or am I happy but I had a moment of rage? Are happy people allowed to have a moment of rage? If happy people do have a moment of rage does that make them truly unhappy people? Are truly happy people so oblivious to anger and negativity that they are always smiling and happy and truly grateful for everything? Is this even normal, I mean I think I’m a relatively happy person and I do take the time to smell the roses, but is it possible to be in a complete state of happiness all the time. This is the point of this project at work, the person who started the project is putting it out there and getting feedback from people on wholeness and happiness. He sent out a survey asking different questions about happiness and work. A high percentage said they were happy to go to work. Of course I had to go into the google circle and leave a comment ” did only happy people fill out this survey”, which a few responded and asked what do you mean? I then had to explain myself a little clearer. I’m happy to go to work, I’m happy to have a job that pays the bills and I like the people I work with. I guess you can say I’m very grateful. But what I do at work is not what I’m about, I have other passions and avenues I would like to explore and find it difficult to explore these avenues because I work full-time and I have two young boys and a husband at home. If I didn’t have to work I would have the time to explore some of those avenues, but putting food on the table has to come first. I read somewhere that if you’re not doing the things you dream of doing now, you’re just making excuses. Could be true except there are only so many hours in the day and the older I get the less energy I have. Lately, I’ve come to think of happiness as a choice, you can either accept and be grateful for everything you have now and trust in God’s wisdom that you are on the right path or you can look at everything in a negative tone and keep looking through a tunnel where there seems to be no light. I for one am choosing happiness, not happiness where I’m oblivious to the negative things in my life and appear to be in la, la land. No I’m a realist but somewhere I’m balancing the two sides and everyday I try to breathe in the moment and enjoy this time I have with my children and husband and remember that nothing stays the same and change is an eventuality – good or bad – change happens. Let’s just hope the change can be embraced in the most grateful and happy way.
Several years ago I got myself into a bit of a rut. I was busy with the kids, busy with my job, busy with my home and pretty much I threw on whatever I touched first in my closet on any given morning and the only accessory that I put on were my hearing aids – I was in a rut but I needed to hear! Makeup just sat in my makeup box wore very little or next to none, I couldn’t be bothered. I wasn’t depressed if that’s what you’re thinking, I was just too busy and couldn’t really of cared less if someone found me attractive or not. One day I woke up and went through my morning routine of not bothering and then I looked in the mirror – let’s just say I wasn’t impressed I looked rather dull, washed up and for some reason that morning I cared! Strangely enough I got an e-mail from one of the parents in my son’s school that she was starting a new business, selling a jewellery product(can’t mention the name here) and wanted to know if anyone was willing to hold a jewellery party. I took a look at the catalogue and thought why not, I’ll help this lady and maybe get some free jewellery while I was at it. I had the party and I earned about $400.00 in free jewellery and I have to say that the jewellery saved me from my bottomless rut that I was in. I loved the jewellery and I kept thinking I need this to go with this and I bought a few more pieces and then about 6 months later I had another jewellery party and earned more free jewellery. I started to not look so drab and I don’t know if it was the sparkle of the jewellery but people started to comment on my wardrobe and how I was looking so much more put together. I was hooked I wanted more so I decided to put my money where my mouth was and become a sales representative for this nameless company. At first it went pretty decent I got a few parties and from all the training I received I should get parties from parties – it was at this point that I discovered that even though I loved the jewellery and was enthusiastic – I’m no sales woman. At one of my parties there was a woman looking at the display and going through the catalogue and she complained about the price, the product and the shipping cost blah, blah. Now I’m supposed to smile and point out how fabulous she looked wearing the cubic zirconia necklace and how it brought out her eyes – nope I turned to her and said if you don’t really want the jewellery don’t feel obligated to buy it, you’re not doing anyone a favour especially yourself! Well that didn’t go over well and to be honest I think she was somewhat surprised by my bluntness and needless to say I did not make that sale and even though I pointed out that she could earn free jewellery by having a party, she didn’t offer to have one. Not that I haven’t had successes, I have repeat customers and they all tell me that my honesty is why they deal with me and that they appreciate honesty. Now here is the whole point to this blog – the sales people who do the best really push sales and bother people and maybe they are not dishonest but they can be misleading and they do way more in sales than I do. I would much rather deal with someone like me, I don’t push and when someone tells me they can’t afford something or are not interested, I say ok thank you. I don’t go well you can put this on your Visa and pay later after all you look so fabulous and you can’t afford not to look fabulous, no I don’t go there I just say ok. I figure if someone says they can’t afford something then why push it. Just the other day I was out and someone in a line-up commented on the necklace I was wearing, so I tried like the training says to take all opportunities that come my way, I said ” it’s the company that I can’t say the name and I sell it, here is my card” and the lady said “no thank you!” Now all she had to do was take the damn card and never talk to me again. I’m told by other reps that they are successful with giving out cards when people compliment them, not me this lady wouldn’t even take the card. I do sale the jewellery at somewhat of a discount and guess what I make some sales but not like you think I would. So I have my base customers and can’t see myself making tons of money on the side here, let’s just say I’ll keep my day job and I don’t plan on not being myself so I guess I’ll just continue on being the worse sales woman ever after all I just might make a little extra to afford that new bracelet I’ve been admiring.
Today was Sunday, certainly not a day of rest as they say no rest for the wicked. My youngest son had a 6:00 am practice this morning so the household was up and about just after 5:00 am. Once my husband gets home from this practice, he gets ready for his own hockey game and he grabs one son and goes one way and I grab the other son and go to church. After church and a quick bite we all head over to the rink to attend my oldest son’s hockey game. We got to the rink 45 minutes early so I had time to run some errands – off I went to the mall to pick up the few things I needed. The mall that is closest to the rink is also close to where my mother use to live and my mom use to walk over to that mall day in and day out to hang out with her friends in the food court drinking coffee and talking. There are a lot of senior citizens in that area and she knew them all. About five years ago my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and three years ago she passed away due to complications of this awful disease. I haven’t been to that mall since she died. As I’m walking through the mall I was observing all of her old haunts and everywhere I turned I saw her there, sitting in the food court with all of her friends, I swear she was the woman in the red jacket and the grey hat but when I looked closer it wasn’t her. This group of woman were so engrossed in their conversation and then someone must of cracked a joke and they all laughed. I swear I heard my mother’s laugh. As I walked by her favourite store, Suzanne’s, I couldn’t resist going in for a browse, as I was looking through the racks, I pictured my mom in this blouse or that sweater or that skirt and then I saw a grey haired head bobbing in between the racks and I took a good look because I swear it was my mother. The lady working at the store came by and asked if I needed any help and I wanted to say “did you know my mother?” “She loved your store”. Of course I just said “no thank you, just looking” but I thought she must of known my mother, mom spent so much time in here trying on all kinds of clothes, getting the sales ladies to help her then buying the item only to take it back the next day. I’m sure she drove them crazy but she was always friendly and had this great laugh. Today was a trip down memory lane, I could feel my mom everywhere I went today and just when I think I’ve moved on to the next chapter of my life it hits me – I miss my mom, I miss her laugh, I miss her jokes, I miss her advice even though I didn’t want it, I miss the way she loved my children, I miss the way she kidded with my husband, she was so much a part of my life and now she’s gone. Not truly gone she’s still here in my heart and soul and she was definitely in that mall today and as I left the mall under my breath I said – “see you later mom have fun!”
Here I am in Blog world. I’ve never blogged before and it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. A million thoughts go through my head everyday and I think I should write my thoughts down. I much prefer to type! Well here I go – I guess I should start out that I’m not sure what I’m going to blog about but I will learn as I go along. I’ve looked up other blogs to get ideas and I’ve read everything from bucket lists to 46 things I intend to do this year. The thought of adding another list to my already busy life just doesn’t sound like something I want to do. I have two boys ages 10 and 12. They both play hockey, my husband plays hockey and this year I just started to play hockey. As you can tell from my blogger name, momwhearingloss, I am profoundly hearing impaired. As frustrating and challenging the hearing loss can be, the disability also adds humour to my life. My husband and children are all within the normal ranges of hearing and as much as they find humour with my disability, they also at times get frustrated. The things that happen to me on a daily basis because of my hearing impairment will give me plenty to write about, but my plan is to write about things that matter to me, my family, my friends and things on a local or worldly scale that are important to me. I hope that the blog is filled with humour as well as real life. I hope the blog is interesting and exciting but the truth could be that my blog is boring and dull – I’ll never know until I try – so wait until next time!