MY DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH IKEA

Yes I have a relationship with ikea and yes we fight all the time!  My dysfunctional moments start off innocently enough,  a tiny little Ikea pamphlet will arrive in the mail and  as I scour through the pages my mouth starts to salivate.  See I love Ikea and those little pamphlets offer inspiration, hopes and dreams in every page.  At ikea you can fix all of your organization problems, your lighting problems, your dumpy furniture problems, your shelving problems and just look at that wardrobe room listed on the front of the  Ikea brochure – I want it!   Our family is on a tight budget so even Ikea can be expensive, but I’ll pick out one little item that we can afford and head to the nearest Ikea store(there’s only one near me and it’s not very near)!  It’s a family outing, we stop for a cheap meal at the Ikea restaurant (how bloody ingenius is that – $5.00 – $8.00 per plate- gets families running to the store that’s for sure) and then we go off to do our shopping.    Now I like to just head right to the market area, find what I need and leave the store.  My children and husband like to wander through the displays and sit on every chair,  every couch, open every kitchen door and check out every possible angle.  This is where the dysfunction begins.  As we are wandering through the store, the aisles and display areas are always packed and everyone is supposed to walk the same way.  Somehow our family always seems to be walking in the opposite direction of everyone else and we end up right back where we started.  Then my husband will declare “we should get this” and it’s then that I notice everyone has little pencils and papers to write down the item numbers.  Somewhere I missed the memo because I don’t have the pencil or the paper and a dig through my purse turns up empty.   I then try to memorize the item number and off we go.    The last time we were at Ikea and this happened, I just wanted to get out of the store and I was fighting a crowd going the opposite direction all the while trying to remember the damn item number.   At one point I stopped and put my head in my hands.  My husband came over quickly and asked me if I was ok.   I look up at him and tensely say “no I’m not ok, ” “What is wrong” he asks.  “I hate Ikea” I announce, he starts to laugh and says “you don’t hate Ikea, you love Ikea”. “Don’t patronize me, I hate Ikea” I say tensely and walk off .  By this point my husband thinks I’m nuts, which is sort of true, as I head off to find the bookshelf I want and head to the cash.  Well the lineups at the cash area are snaked up and down and up and down.  My husband  and the boys find me and again I say ” I hate Ikea!”  “No you don’t, you looooove Ikea” the whole family replies.  To this response I stand there and glare like a crazy woman.  We get home and of course I want the bookshelf up yesterday, so my husband and I attempt to put the #*#$#@@# bookshelf together.  Again, I announce my hatred for just about everything because trying to put the pieces together is just one big royal pain in the ass.  At this point even my patient husband is fed up with me and tells me to leave,  preferably through the front door.   Finally after many hours since we commenced our Ikea adventure,  the bookshelf is together and I love it!  I love Ikea, I love their furniture, I want an Ikea kitchen, I love, love, love Ikea.  Kind of like having a baby – you forget all the pain right after birth and you want another baby!  Can’t wait for the next Ikea pamphlet – oh wait – we did get one – the bedroom event!

Bookshelf (above) from Ikea  – the wicker chair in front of it was bought earlier at Ikea in the clearance section.

Shelves above computer and baskets – Ikea!