A TIME TO CHERISH

Once I was naive enough to believe that when my children could walk, talk, and go to the bathroom by themselves that I would have more free time!  Very funny statement I know, my boys are 10 and 12 and I am busier now than I was when they were babies.  I never stop, I go to work every day and come home at night to make dinner, make sure homework is done and drive here or there for practices or games.  I’m certainly not complaining, I love my boys, my husband and I love my life.  I’m always tired and sometimes cranky but wouldn’t change it for the world.  Last weekend the boys and I headed to Manning Park again for one last weekend of skiing before the hill closed for the season.  My husband had to work so we left him behind!   Skiing for three days is a lot of work and tiring but it’s good exercise and it’s great to get fresh air.  My mother-in-law has a cabin about 15 minutes from the ski hill and she still works as ski school director at the mountain – she’s 76 years old.  I haven’t blogged about my mother-in-law because she’s not the type of person that would appreciate being blogged!  However, our relationship is unique and she is a big part of our family, therefore she should be blogged.  The children call my mother-in-law Nonna -Italian for grandmother as she is Italian.  Her and I are two different woman, we don’t think the same, we don’t act the same but we are identical in our trait of being very stubborn.   Nonna has been on her own for a long time as my husband’s father died when he was 18.  About 8 years ago, Nonna decided to sell the family home and to make a long story short, she moved in with us.   Nonna is very independent but she winters up at the cabin and just wanted a place she could leave, lock the door and not worry about anything.  So move on to a family discussion over dinner one night which ended with Nonna moving in with us.  She first moved into our old house – it was tiny and we had to move the two boys in the same room.  We did this for about a year and then went house hunting, found this house and we built a home in the basement for her.  Even though Nonna lives in the basement she comes up to break bread with us daily, comes grocery shopping with us, attends the boys’ hockey and lacrosse games when she’s in town,  the boys join her to watch tv downstairs at least once a week and Nonna has joined us on the odd holiday.  The relationship works, her and I  get along and the children adore her. When my own mother became ill with Alzheimer’s, Nonna was a huge support to me.   She didn’t really say a whole lot but she listened to me for hours on end and I can’t tell you how much to this day I appreciate her support.  We may be two very different woman, but we respect each other immensely.   Our family enjoys the trips we take several times a year to go to the cabin.  On the last day of skiing this year, Nonna took the afternoon off and skied with me and the boys,  76 years old and still skiing.  Really a time to cherish because the boys will look back at this one day and remember the time at the cabin and remember the special times with Nonna.  I couldn’t be happier for all three of them and I’ve  had a great view of their relationship just hanging back and watching the bonding that takes place between grandmother and grandchildren.  Nonna may not know it but she’s a living legacy and my boys will talk about her to their children – “Your great grandmother skied with us at 76 years old!”  I hope I live long enough and be blessed with good health to  share the same bond with my own grandchildren!

AN ANGEL IN THE MIDST

I’ve been power walking with my neighbour for a while now.  We get up at 5:30 am and walk for an hour, sometimes I think our mouths get more exercise than our legs!  We both find 5:30 am the best time for us to get in an hour of exercise.  We work full time, the kids have homework or sports after school, dinner, laundry for the next day and getting the kids off to bed takes too much time in our evenings to get a walk in the schedule.  My oldest has been getting up and coming with us as he enjoys walking with my girlfriend’s dog Rex.  My youngest son gets up every now and then but he likes his sleep.  My walking buddy went to Mexico yesterday, so I asked my boys if they wanted to get up and take the dog for an early morning walk.  This is what we woke up to – snow.  Here my walking buddy goes to Mexico and it snows.  I got up a little late this morning and it was just me, my youngest son and Rex.   I grabbed my camera because  I knew the snow wouldn’t last and there’s nothing more breath-taking than a fresh layer of snow.

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It was pretty icy this morning and you had to watch your step.  Half way through the walk, I stepped off the curb onto the road and unknown to me there was black ice.  My feet went out from underneath me and it happened so fast I had no time to get my hands out to break my fall.  The strangest thing happened, my fall seem to go to slow motion and it was as if someone caught me from the fall and laid me gently on the ground.  I landed softly on my butt, then slowly the rest of my body laid back as if I was lying down on a bed and finally the back of my head hit the ground like I would lie down on a pillow, very gently.  I was lying there staring up at the sky a little stunned when Rex’s snout appeared and then my son’s face.  He said “mom are you ok?”  “Yes” I said, “just a little stunned.”   “Why are you stunned mom, are you hurt?”  “No I’m stunned, I’m not hurt, my head should of hit that ground really hard.”  I got up like nothing happened, no pain in my lower back or legs, no pain in my shoulders, no pain in my head, nothing.  Very strange, I’ve had similar experiences before where I’ve counted my lucky stars that someone or something was with me, but nothing quite so drastic as this morning.  I believe in angels and I’m not sure what form they take, but I know angels are amongst us.  Something was with me and my son this morning and I am very grateful.

          

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When I see a fresh layer of snow I always think that it’s God’s way of laying down a protective cover on the earth and the world seems to stand still.  Maybe he sent his angels out this morning as well….

THE BEST 10 QUOTES FROM DR. SEUSS – HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Cookie Momma reminded me that it’s Dr. Seuss’ birthday today – an absolute genius.  I loved Dr. Seuss books as a child and fell in love with him again when I introduced him to my children.  Perfect day for Dr. Seuss quotes after all his quotes are the best:

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”

“I like nonsense it, it wakes up the brain cells.  Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living”

“You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You’re on your own.  And you know what you know.  And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go..”

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

” A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

“In my world, everyone’s a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!”

“I meant what i said and i said what i meant.  An elephant’s faithful one-hundred percent!”

“How did it get late so soon?” It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June.  My goodness how the time has flewn.  How did it get late so soon?”

“If you never did you should.  These things are fun and fun is good.”

It’s hard to narrow it down to just ten – three more!

“Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more…”

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

“I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here at the bottom we, too should have rights.”

BE MY VALENTINE!

I have to admit I am a Valentine scrooge.  I’ve never really liked the occasion, I’ve always found the day to be a little silly!  I love my husband and children every day so I don’t really feel the need to run out and be crazy on Valentine’s Day.  No insult to the people who love the day – good for them – might as well spread the love around.  I saw a few blog posts today wishing everyone a happy Valentine’s Day and I had no intention of blogging anything about Valentine’s Day.  That changed when I got home from work, the boys had a box of classic shaped chocolates and a really cute card.  They were very excited to give me the card and chocolates and they had giant smiles on their faces.  It’s really hard not to reciprocate when your looking at two adorable little smiles!

On the inside it says – We’ll take all the blame!   My husband gave me a card as well – nobody needs to see that one!  Happy Valentine’s day everyone!

FLYING SOLO!

As usual this past weekend my husband and I had seven different events happening at rinks.  I have to admit, the weekends wear me down somewhat as I’m trying to catch up with housework, shopping and other stuff.  Today we got home from our day at the rink at about 4:00 pm and both my children joined the group of children and adults playing street hockey in our cul-de-sac.  I on the other hand tried to do all of the housework that needed to be done as my husband decided what to make for dinner.  A good friend of ours, who lives across the street, phoned us at about 5:00 pm to tell us that she had the boys at her house and asked the boys to join her family for dinner, she then said come over and join us as well.  I finished what housework I could finish, put the chicken back in the fridge for tomorrow’s dinner and off we went.  As we were eating  our dinner my girlfriend told me that she just booked a 10 day trip to Mexico and she was going with a girlfriend, leaving hubby and children behind.  My first thought was “good for you” and then my next thought “how do you leave the kids behind?”  Then as the paranoid person that I am, I thought “what if something happens to my friend down there, Mexico is a dangerous place for two woman.”  I didn’t voice this and I didn’t have to as my girlfriend and I think alike.  I asked her if she was excited to spend ten days with no housework, no driving children back and forth to school and sports, just her and whatever she wanted to do?  She said “I feel weird, I’m worried if the plane crashes, I’m worried about being in Mexico – what if something happens?”  She said “before I leave I’m showing Brian everything he needs to know, because you never know.”  I thought there is is the woman I know and love and just as she would say to me I told her not to think negatively that she could get killed crossing the street right here at home!  She’s going and I know she’s going to have a wonderful time and come back here rested and ready to be a mom again.

Later that evening at home I was thinking I don’t think I could go away without the boys and my husband and I was trying to remember if I ever had gone away on my own and then I remembered I went away for a whole week by myself when my mother passed away.  I flew back east for the funeral and spent a week with my siblings sans children and hubby.  The fact that it was a funeral did not make it a joyous occasion, however I was stressed before I went about silly things – I did make sure my husband knew all of our passwords to our bank accounts, made sure he knew all the important things of our financial life just in case the plane crashed, then the thought went across my mind that there would be a heap of housework left for me upon my return.  All of these crazy outbursts were met with patience by my husband who calmly told me all would be well, the plane would not crash, the house would be clean and there was nothing for me to worry about.  The funeral was a sad time, but I have to admit once I was there and able to take the time to spend quality time with my siblings, nephews and niece and was completely focused on them and not  worried about what my children were doing – I really enjoyed the time.   I found this to be somewhat refreshing and I was surprised to feel that.  Needless to say when my week was up and back on the plane heading home I could hardly wait to see everyone.  I didn’t even stress about the house at that point I didn’t care, once we got home and I stepped through our front door the house was neat and spotless.  The next day I grilled the boys about the housework and they essentially told me they cleaned everything up the day before I came home and daddy had delegated them all jobs.  To think that I’m needed to get anything done is funny – obviously everyone is better organized without me.   Both my sons put it in the nutshell for me, they said we were fine without you and had a good time with daddy but we always felt like something was missing, we missed you!

Just the siblings – can’t remember when it was just us in the picture!

sisters – not much time for just us – never happens

Nephews, niece and girlfriends thrown in there too – my, my we’re all getting old!

MAN’S BEST FRIEND

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”  pittieful love 

Several years ago we visited my sister in Toronto.  Jag is his name and he provided love, play and laughter while we were visiting. The boys love dogs, desperately want a dog and when I see these pictures I feel so guilty.  I also know how much work a dog can be and how much love dogs need. I strongly believe that when you own a dog that you have adopted a family member.  I would feel terrible constantly leaving a family member behind as we are running around from here to there.  I also believe that everything has it’s time, maybe the time for a dog has not yet reached this family and just maybe the time will reach this family soon.  Sssh  –  don’t tell my boys I said that!

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SINS OF THY FATHER!

I decided to dedicate this post to my father.  I never really talk about my father because some of the memories surrounding him are hurtful.  My  father died of a heart attack when I was 18 years old.  To say I miss him is an understatement, unfortunately, I have spent most of my life missing him.    Today I was at a memorial service for a young girl who passed away this past weekend.   As I watched her parents I wondered to myself “how do you say goodbye to your child?”  As happens quite often in times of death, we reminisce about our own lives or people we have lost.  My father crossed my mind today.

My parents were divorced when I was eight years old and I can still remember the day he walked out the door, I was devastated.  I absolutely adored my father and I couldn’t understand why he was leaving.  As I grew up I came to understand that my father had committed a cardinal sin, he had an affair with another woman.  My mother found out about this affair and my father broke up with the other woman and was determined to make it right with his family.  He couldn’t do it; he once told me that he loved this other woman so much and he couldn’t pretend at home anymore.  He started to see the other woman again and my mother gave him a choice – “me, the children or the door,” he chose the door.  My adoration for my father was replaced with utter confusion.  I still adored him and loved him very much, but everyone around me was furious with my father and it seemed like not one person liked him.  To voice my love for him felt wrong to me because it meant hurting my mother, so I remained silent.  Finally after much confusion my father was granted visiting rights  He could come and pick up my younger brother and I every Saturday from 8:00 am and we had to be home by 8:00 pm .  Not 8:10 pm, 8:30 pm or Sunday, every Saturday from 8 – 8 and there were no exceptions.  Looking back I know this was not enough time and I felt that way as a child.   There were two older siblings from the marriage and they could not be forced to visit him.

As I grew up life moved on and my mother, stepfather, younger brother and myself moved across the country.  My brother and I flew east to see Dad once a year for two weeks.  Not a lot of time when you think about it, but we always had a good visit.   As we neared toward the end of our visits, a great sadness always came over my father.  As we drove to the airport he would be very quiet in the car.  We would get to the checkout and gate for us to leave and it was here that I realized how much my father loved us.  When I hugged him to say goodbye it seemed like he held onto me forever and he would sob into my shoulder.  Then through his tears he would say “I love you more than you will ever know.”  I can remember thinking everyone is looking at us because this grown man is just sobbing his heart out – he didn’t care he wanted us to know how much he loved us.  This is why my father came to mind today – he couldn’t bear to say goodbye to his children.  Every time we left that airport to fly home for another year, a part of him died.

My father wanted to be happy but couldn’t because he was torn about his children.  Right or wrong he was a father, a father who loved his children more than they knew.  Now as I look at my own children I can only imagine his pain driving home from that  airport and knowing he wouldn’t see his flesh and blood for another year and this daughter loves her father more than he ever knew!

Mom and dad before any of us!

I’m the little one holding my mother’s hand and staring at my Father.

First picture – my older brother and sister with my dad at Christmas – a year before I was born!

MY LIFE IN LAUNDRY

You can measure the chaos in your life by your laundry.  How many loads a day, every couple of days or every week can be a tell all about your lifestyle.  If you are blessed to be doing laundry once a week then you probably don’t have children who are playing sports or changing clothes two and three times  a day.  If I were to leave my laundry to once a week, mountains of dirty laundry would be everywhere.  When I’m busy running out of the house and don’t have time to do laundry on a daily basis, it only takes about four days before the boys start saying “I don’t have socks” or “I’ve only got one pair of underwear left”.  I’m embarrassed to say that there has been the odd morning where the boys have fished socks out of their dirty laundry pile – I mean they have to have socks right.  Below I’ve posted my before my boys life in laundry and after my boys life in laundry..

MY LIFE BEFORE CHILDREN AND SCHEDULES..

MY LIFE AFTER CHILDREN AND TOO MANY SCHEDULES…

Confession – I cheated on the first picture – I’ve never owned a laundry room like that but you get the drift.  There was a time when I folded laundry it went away immediately and my laundry room always looked neat and not the chaos you see there now.  Everyone is healthy and happy and that’s the most important thing – it will be a few years before I get my before laundry room back….Until then I’ll close the door.

MY BOYS AND ELVIS!

Both my boys have I-pods and of course like all kids their age – they love their I-pod – the other day on the way to school they had their I-pod plugged in listening to I don’t know what – Dog Snoop, hip hop – when all of a sudden Elvis’ Jail House Rock came on – I said “you have Elvis”.  They said “we downloaded the album for you mom”.  Paid for it out of their own money too!  Here’s a little bit of the King himself   – Enjoy!

CHRISTMAS – HOW MUCH DO WE REALLY NEED?

Today after work I went for a walk with both my boys and during our conversation we talked about what they want for Christmas.   When the boys were young Christmas was easy – The Sears Wishbook came around in September and they would excitedly pick several things that Santa could bring.  Now at the age of 10 and 12 things are far more complicated, there are so many items out there I think their brains go into overload and they have no idea what they want.   Back to my question then – Christmas – How much do we really need?  When we got home from our walk, my ten-year old couldn’t decide what to write on his wish list so he went to the computer and looked up Walmart’s website to get ideas.  After going through the website he still couldn’t answer my question,  “What do you want for Christmas?”  I’m so tired of all the consumer mania of Christmas, the running around and standing in crowded stores trying to figure out what to buy.   I think it would be great if we didn’t buy any gifts.  We could just get up Christmas morning, all of us sit down to a nice breakfast, relax in the living room in front of the tree and just take our time, enjoy each other’s company and savour the moment!  I suggested this to the boys, because if they can’t decide what they want then they must not need anything, so we could have a giftless Christmas.  Both boys just stared at me and it didnt’ take long before they found items that they want for Christmas.  The thought of a giftless Christmas scared them into a wish list.  Another Christmas with gifts, however, we will also savour the moment and enjoy!

ELVIS AND MY BIRTHDAY!

Today is my 47th birthday!  I’ve never been one to make a big deal out of my birthday – my favourite way to spend my birthday is to hang out with my family and just enjoy the time spent.  This morning I got out of bed late and I was running around like a chicken with my  head cut off to get my lunch together and out the door for work.   Thankfully, my children did not have school today because I barely had time to get my lunch together never mind theirs.  I came flying down the stairs to grab my stuff and go and both my children were in the kitchen signing my birthday card .  I said I’ll have to get that later, I’ve got to run.  My youngest said no, no mom you have to open this card now with this huge smile on his face.   His smile always sucks me in, so as late as I was, I waited until they finished signing the card, put it the envelope, sealed it with a lick and handed it to me.  I opened the card and the front of the card is framed in a gold frame and in the middle there is a picture of a Hawaiian Elvis.  On the inside of the card it says “Have a hunk-hunk-a birthday cake”.  On the back of the card it says “For his eighth birthday Elvis got a guitar, instead of the bicycle he wanted and the rest is history”.   So corny but I loved it.  I’ve always been a big Elvis fan, just love him.   I was 13 years old when he died so it’s not like I was old enough to ever see him in concert.  When I was a youngster I loved to watch his concerts on tv or those corny string of movies he made – I just wanted to watch Elvis.  Now don’t get me wrong it’s not like I have pictures of Elvis all over my house, I don’t have every CD, I don’t listen to him every day and I’ve never seen an Elvis impersonator.   Recently my husband picked up a coffee table Elvis book at a garage sale, which I proudly display.   I’ve always felt that Elvis was one in a million and as I tell my boys he was just this beautiful being.   The boys always say “beautiful – a man beautiful?”  Yes beautiful – that’s the only way to describe him.  I think I’ve always appreciated how he came from very poor roots and God gave him, and the world, the most enormous gift in his raw talent and moves, yet he never forgot where he came from.  Unfortunately, we all know how his story ends and his story really is a sad one, but for my birthday I choose to focus on his beauty,  his beautiful voice and unforgettable music and the world is so fortunate that his parents got him that guitar instead of the bicycle he wanted!

“If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.”
― Elvis Presley

QUIET AHHHH!

Last week I finally got my new hearing aids.  My old ones broke and since they were 9 years old I figured it was time to replace them.  I have sensorineural hearing loss which is nerve damage in the inner ear – both ears.  I started to wear hearing aids at the age of 19 but I should of worn hearing aids through high school.  It’s a wonder I made it through school with the amount of hearing loss that I had at that time.  In the last 10 years my hearing has deteriorated and I’ve been told that one day I could wake up and not hear a thing!  I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about that day, as I enjoy life as is right now.  I bought my last pair of hearing aids right at the time that digital hearing aids were all the new rage.  I had an extremely difficult time adjusting.   Everything sounded so much more precise and crisp to me.  It drove me a little batty so I had the hearing aid specialist program the aids so sounds were a little softer, so I didn’t hear quite as much but hopefully heard all the important things.  Hearing aids typically last 5 – 10 years.  As you can imagine in 5 – 10 years the difference in hearing aid technology is astronomical.  When I got to work with my new hearing aids I could hear every hum and rattle of the place.  After a day of listening to things that you don’t really need to hear, I found relief when I got home by removing my hearing aids –   put my head back and ahhh quiet.  Closed my eyes and just relished in the quiet – couldn’t hear any humming, couldn’t hear the kids, couldn’t hear the tv – just me and quiet!  It’s nice to slip out of reality every now and then and just go to my own world of quiet, where I can pick and choose when I want to hear.  I’m sure most people at time want to have the same experience and they can with ear plugs – just try it and you will find yourself going ahhhh quiet!

CONNECTIONS

We all have a connection with our moms.  Some have more connection than others, but most of us have a connection.  I’ve always been close to my mom, not that we didn’t fight, we did fight, like cats and dogs.   The fighting was part of our connection.  My mother was very outspoken and she didn’t care who you were and if she had something to say, she said it.  I tend to be the same way so the two of us butted heads quite a bit.  However, we were each others best friend, always in each other’s corner.  If I needed her she was there, if she needed me I was there, we supported one another, we loved one another.  We shared many fights, but many more laughs.  We laughed all the time, sometimes until our guts hurt and the tears were streaming down our faces. About ten years ago I noticed the laughter slowly subsiding and mom seemed to be constantly pre-occupied.  Something felt wrong, she could not remember where she put anything and she seemed to be mad at me all the time.  When she couldn’t remember certain things, I would think we all have bad days  Maybe she is just having many  bad days, but the problems were consistent and what started off as every now and then became more and more frequent and then the laughter seemed to stop.  I said to my husband one night, “when was the last time you heard mom laugh” and he said he couldn’t remember.  Slowly the connection between mother and daughter fell away.  At times I felt like I was talking to a stranger, taking care of a stranger.

It was obvious to me that there was something seriously wrong with mom.  Mom and I shared the same doctor.  I phoned the doctor one day and relayed all of my fears and concerns about mom.  The doctor said she would talk to mom the next time she was in, but she felt that my fears and concerns were nothing to worry about.  She said that she had just seen mom recently and felt she was fine.  I kept saying to the doctor that she was not fine.  My mother was the best actress around, she had everyone fooled.   She learned little tricks, and manipulated everyone around her to the point that when I said something is wrong, people were thinking that I was being a negative daughter.  As time moved on, I pleaded with my family and our doctor to do something.  Finally my doctor saw that something was seriously wrong and we had mom properly tested.  Four years ago the medical community finally agreed with me that my mother had Alzheimer’s.  I wanted my mother to come and live with me, but she accepted my brother’s invitation to live with him instead.  My brother lives across the country in Niagara Falls and I couldn’t understand why she would move all of that way.  To be honest it hurt and it was a blow to me.  All I wanted to do was take care of my mom as I hope one of my sons would do for me.   My brother wanted to do the same thing, and I voiced my concerns of sending our sick mother across the country but he insisted that he wanted to do this.  So I stepped aside, I packed all of her things, shipped what she needed across the country, put her apartment up for sale and drove her to the airport and put her on a plane with a one way ticket to Ontario.  It was one of the worst days of my life.  My husband couldn’t be there that day so I had my two boys with me.  My oldest was seven years old at the time and my youngest was five.  As I watched mom walking with an attendant to the plane, mom turned to me to wave good bye and the tears were streaming down her face.  It took everything I had not to run up to her and grab her and tell her that she was coming home with me.  I turned to my seven year old with tears streaming down my face and said to him, “I think I’ve made a mistake.”  My son said to me ” mom Granny won’t remember who we are next year, it’s time to let her go and be with the other part of her family, and you haven’t made a mistake”.  Needless to say his comment stopped me in my tracks, my mother had two sons, one daughter and six grandchildren back east and my son was right, it was time for her to go home.

Due to work and just everyday life, it was  a full year before I saw my mother again.  My son was right, we got off the plane in Toronto and drove straight to Niagara Falls to be with mom.  She walked into the room and I could see it in her eyes, she had no idea who I was, no idea who my children were or who my husband was.  The actress part came out of her again, she did her best to try and please everyone and pretend she knew who we were, but everyone in that room knew that mom had no bloody clue who we were.  It was a weird two weeks, no connection to mom at all.  I tried, we all tried, we saw her every moment we could and it was like I was sitting with the woman down the street, the woman I hardly knew.  The day I left Niagara Falls, I drove by myself to the home where my mother was living.  It was just the two of us, I left the children and my husband at my brother’s house, I wanted the time alone.  Three hours and both my mother and I hardly said a word to each other.  We just sat outside in the garden just being together, the connection once again lost, lost a long time ago.  On the flight home I was trying to remember the mother that I once had, the laughter the arguments all the connections that I had with mom, but I couldn’t get the Alzheimer’s mom out of my head, the woman who didn’t know her daughters, her sons, her grandchildren, once again the connection was gone.

This past Christmas, my brother phoned me to tell me that my mother had taken a bad fall, broken her ribs and one of the broken ribs punctured her lung.  We didn’t think she would make it and sure enough she survived, at one point the doctors thought she might be getting out of the hospital.  One night my mother asked about me, my children and my husband.  My brother called to tell me that she asked for us all by name and he said for the first time in such a long time he felt like he was talking to mom.  My heart went cold because I knew that this was God’s gift, the clarity, the recognition, mom hadn’t remembered who I was for two years.  I remember my brother was so happy, I told him that I was thrilled that she had some clarity, however, I didn’t think it was a good sign.  The very next day mom fell into a coma and no one knows why.  The next 48 hours was a strange time because I was living across the country and not sure what to do. No one knew how long she would be in a Coma and I was torn, should I fly back east now or wait?  That night I felt the connection of mom come back to me,  I dreamt of mom and she came to me in  my dreams as my mother, not the woman I hardly knew but my mother,  I could almost smell her and she told me I needed to stay where I was.  I woke up with peace in my heart and I told my husband I would wait to see what happened.  Twenty four hours later, my husband and I took our children to a movie, on the way home from the movie I fell asleep.  I’m not sure how to explain it, but it was as if this energy moved through me.  The feeling was so abrupt, I woke up immediately and I said to my husband, mom is gone!  The connection was there and then it was gone.  When we got into the house I went to the phone expecting to see a message on the answering machine, there was no message but I knew in my heart that mom had moved on.  Ten minutes later the phone rang and it was my sister-in-law, mom had passed away.  I asked her at what time and she told me what I already knew about a half hour ago, the precise time I felt the energy move through me.  Mom had managed to re-connect with me after all.

by Johanne Fraser

Published in Miraculous Messages from Heaven – October 15, 2013