WHAT WOULD 10 YEAR OLD JO THINK?

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.”
― Samuel Johnson, The Rambler

I stumbled upon a new blog that intrigued me – Duane’s World.  His writing is simple and he has changed his world by eradicating all negativity and perfectionism from his life.  The post that really caught my attention was “What would 10-year-old Duane think?”   No I’m not copying Duane but think about it, how often do we think of our 10-year-old selves and what he/she would think of our adult selves.

I haven’t thought of 10-year-old Jo in forever!   My 10-year-old self – here it goes – if  you met 10-year-old Jo you would think she was this quiet, beautiful little girl.  Jo tended to be a little shy but in truth Jo was carrying many burdens.  Jo was an outdoorsy, curious girl who wanted to spend her days running through fields, climbing trees, catching spiders and finding different bugs to add to her bug terrarium.  Jo hated it when people fussed over her, she hated having her hair brushed and she hated wearing skirts.  Jo played with barbie but barbie was always on an outdoor adventure and wearing clothes that logically fit the lifestyle – no pretty dresses for barbie.  Jo’s day usually started by rummaging through her drawers to find anything to wear and much to her mother’s horror Jo would be very under dressed as she ran out the front door as clothes just interfered with her curious nature.   Winters were cold and harsh, but Jo was outside all the same.  No bugs to catch, but forts and igloos to build, snow angels to make and skating at the community outdoor rink.

At home Jo’s life was difficult – full of chaos and sadness and Jo’s mom didn’t embrace her inquisitive nature.  Instead Jo’s mom tried to break her curious spirit by showing distaste for Jo’s interest in everything from bugs, clothes, messy hair and her close relationship with her father, her mom’s ex-husband.   Not all bad as Jo learned to stand up for what she believed in and taught her the importance of always being yourself.

What would 10-year-old Jo think of 50-year-old Jo?  10-year-old Jo would like that she still lives her life in the outdoors every chance she gets, she would like that she married someone who loves all of her,  good and bad, she would like that she has two boys and no princess girls, she would love that she plays hockey and she would like that she still likes spiders and snakes.    What 10-year-old Jo would not like about 50-year-old Jo – she would hate all of the skirts and pretty clothes in her closet, she would think that she covers herself up with too many clothing items, she would hate all her shoes as you only need one pair, she would hate that she is tied down to a full-time job, she would hate her lack of freedom because of commitments and she would hate her house because housework is just  a waste of time.

Truth be told – 50-year-old Jo is still very much like 10-year-old Jo and she still struggles to not let outside forces interfere with who she is.   Her mother is no longer around to show her distaste in her choices but there are plenty of other people to replace her.  The little Jo in her ignores them all and to combat the negative forces she heads outdoors where she is accepted as a whole as she blends into the accepting and curious forces of nature.

Duane’s World

RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW – RAMBLINGS OF A HOCKEY MOM

Waking up this morning, looking around my very messy, cluttered bedroom I thought “I can hardly wait until my life is less chaotic and I have all the time in the world for housework giving me a clean and organized home AND no clutter.”   Clutter tends to make me bitchy; I can ignore clutter for so long but then after a while I can no longer ignore it, I explode  and get rid of everything.   As I walked down the stairs toward the kitchen, I looked to my left and my bloody Christmas tree still hasn’t been taken down and some of the opened gifts are still sitting in their boxes under the tree!  How is it before Christmas all the decorations and the lit up tree looks magical and after Christmas decorations looks junky?  Mental check – get Christmas tree and decorations all put away this weekend and then I realized between both my boys, my husband and I, we have about six or seven hockey games and/or practices this weekend.  Chances of us getting everything packed and put away are slim to none.  I started to feel a little overwhelmed, frustrated and started wishing for a real life only to realize; this is  my real life  and it’s as real as it gets.    The boys are healthy and active in hockey and school.  My husband and I are exhausted but we are healthy and happy.  At times when we are really busy tensions can fly, but mostly we argue, laugh, cry and we do this all together.  I never make new year’s resolutions because I don’t believe in making resolutions and not keeping them,  but this morning I made a resolution.   A little late I know, but I decided that I’m going to stop wishing my life away and grab on to what I have now and embrace life to the fullest, even if it means –  cranky, mad, tired, too busy, loving, funny, happy and sad – no matter what life throws at me I’m determined to embrace it knowing that this is my life, right here right now.  There really isn’t a tomorrow there is a today, the moment is now, I’ll worry about tomorrow tomorrow.  Difficult for me to do because I tend to be a planner, a person who wants to know my direction on any given day but in 2014 I’m going with the flow and seeing where that takes  me.  We forget that every day is a gift, a gift to cherish, a gift of joy.  It’s now the end of the day, 10:30 pm to be exact, I started writing this post this afternoon on my lunch break , finished my afternoon of work, drove home ate dinner and back out the door to my son’s hockey game.  I’m off to bed to start again early in the morning for two hockey games, housework in the afternoon and then a friend’s for dinner and start all over again Sunday..Yeah I’m busy, tired and my house is a damn mess and I could stay home miss the games to clean the house, but the time is right here right now and I’m gonna take it!