A Dangerous Mind

“Narcissist Personality Disorder:  One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated.”

Warning, if you ever find yourself around one who is narcissistic run, run as far away as you can.  There is no winning with a narcissistic person and if you don’t agree with everything the narcissist does or says, then I guarantee you, it won’t be long before the narcissist has convinced everyone around you that you are the one that should not be trusted.  The narcissist will not win in the end, but the road from the beginning to the end is a long one and the closer that road gets to the end, the narcissist will become desperate and the final stage is the most dangerous.

How do I know, I’ve had the opportunity to work with not one, but two narcissists and I’ve watched the spinning of their web as they entrap everyone in their sticky mess while I was the prey stuck dead in the center of their narcissistic abuse.  The abuse is not something you can report or quite put your finger on and it’s not anything you’ve done to deserve the treatment.   You just know it’s happening, the energy around you changes, people start to treat you with mistrust and then slowly you are indirectly told that you are not good enough, not good at your job, not important, one to be ignored all the while the narcissist is spinning their web and injecting their venom and like a spider’s bite, it can take a long time to discover the full effect of the narcissist’s bite.

There was a time I carried much anger at these individuals, but not any more.  In some ways I owe them gratitude as I’ve learned from within that I am a strong, smart and confident woman.  There isn’t a person on earth who hasn’t gained strength through challenges, and dealing with a narcissist offers you many challenges and hurdles to climb only to gain strength with each new height.

The negative effects of dealing with these people, I’ve left far behind as I have a clear view of who my friends are, the kind of person I want to be and the positive contributions I want to give to my  community, my family and my friends.  I can thank the narcissist for these attributes, because without experiencing the full effects of narcissism, I may not have realized my potential for joy and happiness had they not spun their webs.

Forgiveness is another important factor, because a narcissist always surrounds themselves with enablers, people who are not strong and most likely have low self esteems.  Forgiveness is important because holding a grudge, anger, hate or resentment is poison to the soul.  In both cases I’ve experienced the work of enablers and a lot of my anger was also generated toward them.  However, with much soul-searching, meditation and prayer, I was able to forgive and to forgive is to set your soul free.

The irony of the narcissistic mind, is that the danger that they pose will tear lives and environments apart.  Much like a tropical hurricane or a large-scale earthquake will ravish the land and the people who live there.  However, like any natural disaster,  the strength and resilience of the people will overcome and the same can be said in the destructive path of the narcissist, the people will prevail and in the end, the person who stands to be in the most danger of the narcissist is the narcissist themselves.

Johanne Fraser

 

THE EGO HAS LANDED

“Enlightenment is ego’s ultimate disappointment.  Chogyam Trungpa

How much better the world would be if people checked their egos at the door.  Egos take up so much space and I see egos everywhere.  I see them at work, I see them at my children’s hockey games, I see them at my children’s football games, I see them at the mall, I see them at church and on the street.  If you look close you can see them too, they carry a certain aura that you just can’t miss.  They exhibit themselves in arrogance, power,  vanity,  rudeness, elitist and entitlement.

Egos are not authentic, they are not real, they are a perspective of who someone thinks they should be rather than who they could be.  Egos think that they have many  opportunities by using and abusing the environment around them without care or concern how it affects the beings within that environment.  I spot egos from a mile away and I absolutely detest egos.  Should you have the nerve to question ego, the anger, bitterness and absolute meanness that can unleash in your direction is overwhelming.

It’s tempting to get back at ego, make ego pay, call ego out, but the truth of the matter is to engage in such unworthy actions simply sets ego up against ego in a war where there are only takers and no winners.    Ignoring ego, not reacting to ego and letting ego follow it’s own path is a walk toward enlightenment and peace.  Calling out souls and reaching out from soul to soul is who we are meant to be and gravitates our being on a path where ego has no home.

In an egomaniac world it can be hard to stay true to one’s values and ego hates beings with core values.  Ego will chase core values down like a hunter stalking his prey and kill core values at the root so ego can achieve the ultimate goal of power and intimidation.  Ego and Narcissist are friends and when they get together it can be a powerful tea party.  Plotting and planning and executing their selfishness and need to be the centre of the universe taking down any being who dares to question their motives.  An exhausting game, even for the ego and narcissist.  A game that ultimately leads to isolation and loneliness but in ego and narcissist’s shallow and limited minds they won as the ego has landed.